I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
