Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
