so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
