Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize