You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
