OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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