we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I want her autograph on my taint
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize