who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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