HIV tests are more positive than that guy
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Your penis caused this!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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