I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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