Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Pappa wants mamma naked
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
