I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize