wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize