lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
What a dumb baby whore.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
