maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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