Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
