If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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