When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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