Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize