She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Randomize
