He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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