After last night, I could never be a politician.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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