Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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