Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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