just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
