You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
did i just pee glitter
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
