Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
did i just pee glitter
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
