THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
