God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
