so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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