Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
