she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
