i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
