it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
