it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
