Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
