i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
