Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
