PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
