I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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