Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
