Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sober January is a disaster.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
