Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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