We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
