Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
