I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
