If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
