and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It's just like the Real World with babies
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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