at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We just shotgunned beers for America
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
