from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
