they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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