miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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