Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
