drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
