I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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