conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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