nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
