We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
