Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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