dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
