Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
