Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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