I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
