Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Everclear isn't food dammit
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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