you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
