Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
