Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
