I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize