Already got asked if we're dating
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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