I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
