The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Apparently you make a good broom.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
is it fun? or sober?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
